She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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