I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
