I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
