So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
