I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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