Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
