i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
