"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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