Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
