Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
