It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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