What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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