I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i think we sleep fucked last night...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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