Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
