In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
