I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
