Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
