when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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