is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
