I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
