I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
