Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
