Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
