If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
