he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
no you cant smoke seaweed
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
