I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
