I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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