Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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