We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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