I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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