dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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