I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
