My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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