So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
