Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
