Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
