Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
