You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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