turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
