Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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