I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize