I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
