If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
