i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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