I want to walk on stilts...naked
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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