He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
