I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
