im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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