i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
