Pants 0. Shit 1.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I didn't notice because vodka
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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