im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
