the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
