Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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