I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
