My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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