And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
