Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
