He asked to "fluff my boner.."
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
