would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize