Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
