found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
