I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
