were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
